My lungs hurt.
I am just home from the gym, and rather than getting into the shower to shed the sweaty grossness of my practice, I am sitting down to type this and catch my breath. Quite a morning.
In January we began Peripheral Heart Action (PHA) styled Lists. These are tri-sets, usually only 3 of each, but pacing is peppy. While other tribe members refer to these as PHA Lists, they will forever be the “huffy-puffy” Lists. Because honestly, breathing hard is putting it lightly as I am going through the blocks.
Today was the first time I have run through these on my own, and the first time since we finished going through them January I have actually picked one out for List of the day. And I kinda/sorta kick myself for not doing so soon.
It’s interested observing my own negative self-talk these days. Today was the worst its been in months, and even then it was more the frantic observation that I am woefully out of shape. Despite my daily exercise for more than a year, I feel woefully out of shape. Cardio machines – treadmill, elliptical, stairmaster – still hold little to no appeal to me. If I am going to bulk up my lungs to do this without feeling as if I am trying for slow suffocation, I just need to pursue the huffy puffy more frequently than once ever few months.
Perhaps exacerbating this process – my bench was in use this morning and I had to make do with the gravity machine for Bulgarian split squats (something to prop a back foot up on) and 1-arm rows (lean against) and a teeny tiny stability ball for chest presses and overhead pullovers. Not the end of the world – I made it work, although the stability ball is not something I want to repeat unless I can lay hands on a larger one. The teeny one is made for a much more petite person, and the angles were wrong or I ended up feeling like I were almost leaning up against it with my butt barely hovering over the ground. The positive to it, though: less need to obsess over the arch, because laying flat on that particular stability ball was impossible for me.
Everyone is still adjusting to the gym’s update, and equipment I typically use is spread all over the place. In addition to no bench, I also ended up substituting a kettlebell for a medicine ball on the horizontal choppers because the 2 upstairs were both in use in this morning. Again, I made it work, and I am prepared for set-up substitutions next I pursue this List.
Judgmental Fitbit heart rate monitor had nice things to report: 118 heart rate average and 50 very active minutes. I don’t pay a lot of attention to these statistics, because like all things that measure, it is far too easy for me to fall down the rabbit hole of obsession and depression when I fail to meet some arbitrary standard. But I have been looking at it as a loose way of tracking my energy expenditure.
I’m happy with my effort this morning, look forward to improving with more regular, consistent practice on this particular List. Because for me that’s what it comes down to: I have not practiced this List, so to me it is a less familiar that must be learned and committed to memory and improvement. As I continually remind myself, so many Lists, so few practice days.
Lungs will be able to handle it. Keep telling myself it is good for them to burn baby burn every now and again along with the rest of me.