I had really great intentions of figuring out my head stuff by taking a few days away from the gym. I felt just sure that doing something else for 3 days would be a miracle cure, that I would come back refreshed and recharged and recommitted to my better health quest and do better with my Lists. I knew better than to expect miracle cures, that I would somehow be transformed in my absence from the club into someone who can perform push-ups with elegant ease and appear confident and assured doing inchworms or the dreaded burpees, but I thought I might miss my routine enough to feel completely reconnected to it. After all, I reasoned, it was only 3 days.
Fail. Big fat FAIL. I barely made it 2 days without finally throwing in the towel and deciding to f**k this vacation crap and get back to my roots.
So I did. I came back a day early and was in the club this morning and back to toiling away at a huffy puffy List with as close to appropriate pacing as I could manage. And OMG – I feel so much BETTER now.
Was I stellar and miraculously energetic and precise in my performance? No, just no. But my head was in the game, even body felt like it was still in a food coma from too much bbq yesterday with all that amazing potato salad.
Of course, I know how good chocolate tastes when I have abstained for extended periods as well. But I console myself the gym Lists are actually beneficial to me. After all, it helps build strong bodies in at least 12 ways, whereas chocolate? Chocolate hits the happy button in my brain for about 30 seconds until body screams for more and blood sugar starts climbing and staying elevated for longer and longer periods the more I consume. There truly is no comparison, other than body is addicted to both.
Bottom line: feels good to be back in the gym, doing something that feels like “normal” to me.
For the 2 days away, I had mixed bag of success.
I went to yoga both Friday evening and Saturday morning, and it was okay. I am not a bendy or flexible person AT ALL and it seems to have only gotten worse as the months away from yoga have passed. This is actually part of the reason I think I need more yoga in my life, but at the same time, I do not especially enjoy it. The classes I took this time were different from the Bikram-based yoga I am more familiar with, but like everything new, it will take some adjustment and learning to improve. No worries at all that it will ever replace my gym and resistance training, and if I go another bunch of months again in between I am okay with that.
That said, I am going to try to make another class this evening, to see how it feels to go after a morning of pursuing my more typical exercise pursuits. As this is the long weekend, I have some extra time to experiment and see what works for me. Right this minute, I believe maybe a Sunday class of some sort until my pass expires is my best exploratory pathway. Surely by the end of July I will have a better sense of whether yoga is something I will incorporated into my better health quest once more.
Assuming I carve out some time for this pursuit. Life is busy and full of other priorities that could easily overwhelm this desire.
On the walking, not a problem for me at all. I was out and about in my neighborhood for at least an hour, just taking a casual stroll, and easily exceeded 20,000 steps on my Fitbit both days thus far. I am back in business with my treadmill desk as well, so getting plenty of walking workout in this process. I may not even collapse in a heap on the side of the road walking or hiking 300 yards.
For the most part I have exorcised and banned the “fail” term from my vocabulary; it is but one of many ways I abuse and beat myself up for not living up to my own lofty (and primarily unrealistic) expectations. But in this select instance, it is appropriate. More than that, it is an accurate description of what has happened.
And I am okay with that. If I have learned anything in the last almost 2 years, my habits have been molded and shaped by getting up every day, getting to the gym, and going through a List of the day. Sometimes I am energetic and almost perfectly on-point with everything, and others I struggle and have to really work at it. A process, for sure, but my process, one I am familiar with and has become ingrained in my day-to-day life.
All very good things.
Because I feel better getting some version of exercise every single day. The walking feels good, the yoga feels pretty good after a shower and quart or 2 of water, but nothing really replaces being in the gym and my Lists.
But I knew that going into it. My super secret fear that I did not voice is that I was getting tired of my routines and stuck in a rut. Thing about me – I tend to thrive on routine and the hamster wheel that I run on much of the time. New stuff, reordering the sequences, and varying the pacing works for me. I am looking forward to returning to our regularly scheduled programming.
The 8+ hours of sleep the past 3 nights is a big plus for me. As I always say, sleep is the great equalizer for me.