Emotional eating, my old friend. I have been fighting hard to stay on this side of the sugar divide, but today my resolve dissolved.
I have been brought down by a single dark chocolate caramel.
For the most part, I am philosophical about it. It is, after all, a single piece of chocolate, not an entire pound (or more) of Godiva. There is much life ahead of me, a lot of opportunities to overcome this backslide and prevail over my sugar addictions.
The most interesting part of this experience is not the emotional eating, although of course that comes into play. I have spent a good portion of every day since my best friend passed thinking about it, feeling the burn of that pain. Nope. The most interesting part is the way the super-charged cravings have been reengaged.
It’s been a long, long time since I have had cravings come on so strong or so quickly. It has also been awhile since I have indulged in gratuitous sugar, and when I was still having small amounts, I was doing it regularly, never allowing the cravings to grow so powerful. Which tells me I am winning the war on getting away from the things that trigger the desire for sugar and carbs and other foods the contribute to my blood sugar spikes.
I lack the ability to regulate my cravings right now. When it comes to foods I love and that are poor choices for me, I have very little self control. Flexibility of mindset is a skill, something I am hoping to work at and build upon. But for right now, I’m struck with visions of sugary delights dancing in my head.
As long as they do not follow me into my grocery cart and home pantry I should be okay. Maybe the best answer is more core work? Tomorrow morning is another practice, another day. We shall see what abs say in the morning.