PT-64: The lost session (day 21)

Monday morning, training with J.

I unexpectedly and tragically lost a close friend yesterday and feel wrecked about it. But I got up and went to meet fab trainer J this morning anyway, because if I can easily imagine lying on a set of train tracks waiting for a train to run me over I can all too easily find myself canceling sessions, blowing off practices, and returning to a sedentary lifestyle in my grief.

No matter what my circumstances, how crappy I feel today or in the days ahead, I cannot be deterred from my better health quest.

Mercifully, comfort food holds little appeal right now, although I admit I feel the knee-jerk allure of old habits. I have worked so hard to get past that reflexive inclination, and I have new habits and ways to cope.

Life continues, despite a broken heart and wounded spirit.

But I got nothing as far as feedback from this review session. At this point of the day, 12 hours later, I cannot really recall what we did. I know it was review. I know it was upstairs. Beyond that, it all looks and feels like a big blur today. I could look at the List and it will refresh what we did, but nothing stands out other than getting through it without bursting into tears and lying on the floor sobbing and refusing to get back up.

Yeah, I had my fears about that happening.

Since we finished in record time, I know I could care less about rep count or even set count. We could have done one per and I would say it was fine. One low energy, low expectations session matters little to me under the circumstances. Not showing up for it felt terrifying on so many levels.

I’m very fortunate – I have an incredibly caring, supportive tribe that holds my hands and lets me ramble and wander as I stumble along in this haze of grief.

But as I type this – a couple of things do stand out.

I want to be able to climb to my feet from sitting on the floor without having the help of another person or sturdy, immovable object. And right now it does seem to still to require the logistical planning of unsinking the Titantic from the ocean floor, but it will not be like this forever.

The things that influenced and inspired me to get started on my better health quest, those only die if I allow them to die in my heart and mind. Courage, bravery, all those cool-sounding heroic buzz words do not enter into this equation. Discipline, steadfastness, accepting that life continues is the only thing that makes the senseless unlucky sequence of events make sense.

The range of emotions that come with loss are not easy to quantify or describe, and there is no one-size-fits-all patterns to mourning. The amount of anger and rage I feel inside is almost embarrassing, yet who am I actually angry with? God? Some other higher power? Modern medicine? My friend? Myself? I think it normal, healthy, to be upset and full of rage that something I never, ever wanted to happen has happened. It seems yet another side of the complexities of being human and the circle of life.

I learned a long time ago that being a victim is a circumstance, but it does not need to be the defining circumstance. Channeling my anger and my rage has been a driving force to get me past that label and made me make something of myself. While it feels kind of noble to imagine continuing my better health quest for my friend and compadre who means so much to me, it is also a cheap and tawdry self-serving device for which he would gleefully verbally bitch-slap me if he were reading this right now. Always, this has been for and about me and me alone, and to try to twist it into some sort of tribute is both wrong and unsustainable for the long haul. His influence and encouragement does not end because he is no longer walking this earthly plane with me. Perhaps that is the best, finest legacy anyone can provide.

I am so much stronger, more capable, and frankly more physically appealing to my own eye than I was when I started with J. I work hard at my better health quest for myself, for more life in the years I have. But I have new measures of pride and confidence, and I am glad my friend got to see and experience that first hand.

In the throes of grief and loss, I truly remember why I love my life. Because I feel such depths of grief and loss with the passing of a genuine, faithful friend. Eventually I will bear these fresh scars with dignity and pride, and always remember the one who helped me earn them.

Not much of a training recap today, I know. Hopefully our regular programming will return soon.

#august2017, #balance, #better-health, #diet, #emotional-health, #exercise, #fitness, #friends, #grief, #gym, #health, #healthy-eating, #inspiration, #motivation, #sadness

Shaving sleep (day 19)

For numerous good reasons, I have not been sleeping well or enough this month. Last night I was up until well past midnight, and when the alarm went off at 4, and then again at 5, it got shut off and shoved under the pillow as I slumbered on.

Needless to say, no gym practice for me this morning.

Thinking about it throughout my busy workday morning, the extra 3 hours of sleep were almost mandatory. A bothersome trait I have about my better health quest is my inability to consistently implement a flexibility of mindset – I remain rather all-or-nothing when it comes to exercise and when I am at the gym. Slowly, oh so slowly that is changing, but it’s still hard. The apocalypse is not taking any notice of my activities (or lack thereof), because I wasn’t in the gym by 6 a.m. this morning nothing happened. Most likely the apocalypse will still be occupied elsewhere if I do not make it by 6 p.m. this evening. Heck, at this point I might need 6 consecutive days off to really fall completely out of my exercise habits and I am quite sure the apocalypse will remain oblivious.

But I think about it, probably way more than is actually necessary for any normal person. I imagine all the doomsday scenarios, everything from never getting up and to the gym in my preferred early morning hours and having to go evenings when it is busy/hectic/crazy everywhere to never going again at all. Of course none of that is likely to happen. Of course it has been a busy and strange month in a life of busy and strange days and weeks. I fear my own nutball craziness enough to respect that for all my good intentions, it is so easy to relax too much and find myself falling away from my hard work and good effort. Uncontrolled diabetes, weight gain, loss of strength is merely a few choices and justifications away.

As always, it is the small kernels of casual tossed-off information from training sessions that take root and bloom in my mind. J said something yesterday about another tribe couple he’s working with talking about his ability to get up and down off the gym floor with such alacrity, something I have also noted and admired and mostly chalked up to youth and fitness. But secretly – I aspire for something like that myself. I would like to be able to just get up off the floor after planking or hamstring curling or floor chopping and not be envisioning it as a strategic problem equivalent to unsinking the Titanic from the ocean floor. Little things, life’s more practical tasks – these are the stuff that compose my better health and fitness dreams.

So I’ll go to the gym tonight. Friend K once described a Friday night at the gym as the lonelyhearts club, which makes me laugh. I don’t care if people are dateless and desperate; I would just like it to be quiet enough to use whatever equipment I desire without having to negotiate for it.

And speaking of friend K – she deadlifted 270 lbs. last night. So very proud of her in this pursuit and even happier I was there to see it happen.

Just in case you’re keeping track, day 18 is a training recap and did not get finished yesterday. I am hopeful that it is published before the day is over. 

#august2017, #better-health, #choices, #consistency, #exercise, #fitness, #gym, #happy, #health, #positivity

Making up for missing a day (day 15+1)

So just after weenie-whining about my List of the day not sparking joy, I go roaring back to the gym and have this simply amazing experience. Not even sparks; more like sparklers or sky-filled fireworks sort of joy.

Well, okay, I might be exaggerating a touch with the ski-filled fireworks. But it was an awesome practice. I had donned my big girl capris and ventured over into the corner of the big boys’ room where the squat racks reside, determined to use them all by myself. It helps that the gym was relatively empty at that time of the morning (yet filled up to well past my comfortable capacity by the time I left 90 minutes later) and that a recent gym acquaintance was using the other machine opposite me.

Not sure why I get mildly to wildly freaked out being alone in that part of the gym. Probably because I do not yet know the rules of the place, if I am potentially stealing from someone else by taking a plate from another machine rather than the common area racks. To be fair, though, the jumping man was walking up to that rack just as I turned away from it with absconded 25 lb. plate in my hands. He didn’t say anything, though, so I skulked back across to my rack and tried not to feel like a criminal. Because somewhere out there, the guy who left multiple 45 lb. plates on my bar is roaming without a care in the world.

Anyway, I did pretty damn awesome, even with my rookie mistake. J taught me to do this version of the Romanian deadlift in ramp up sets, meaning a warmup (or 2) of just the bar, no weight, then add a 10 lb. plate to each end for a set (or 2), then another 10 lb. plate, and finally at 5 lb. plate for a total of 25 lbs. per end or 91 lbs. with barbell. Simple really; he even wrote it down on my List. Except I was ridiculously excited in my big girl capris and doing this all on my own and somehow forgot that it was 10 lb. plates I was using and instead added a 25 lb. plate to each end. Ooops.

No tsunami hit the gym and wiped me off the face of the planet. It did feel significantly heavier than I remembered (of course), and after 12 reps I was so done with that set. I then looked at the List on my phone more closely, realized my mistake, and texted J my oopsie. I could have dropped back down, started over with the 10s and worked my way back up, but he merely agreed with me on not increasing weight further today with added reassurance that this was not the apocalypse (true – no zombies spotted). Nothing snapped, crackled, or popped within body either, so I did my remaining 3 sets with 25 lb. plates and call it very, very good.

Other than that little hiccup, the rest of my day progressed pretty splendidly. Even the very end, when my lat pulldown machine was overtaken by a couple of elderly men who threw my towel on the floor and took over, did not harsh my buzz. I just picked up my towel and gave them a pointed (and completely ignored) look. Apparently as far as they were concerned I was some ditzy member who leaves her towel on equipment. I was in a pretty good mood, though, and not contemplating ways to rip their heads off and use them as bowling balls down the walkway to the front desk.

I felt better about the tree-hugging seated rows and remembered to keep elbows bent. I got through at least 3 to 4 good and 1 or 2 decent single legged RDLs with the 25 lb. dumbbell. I did not swear profusely at the stability ball with the hamstring curls and forced myself not to think about what kind of ick might be on the floor I was lying upon.

A good morning in my better health quest.

#august2017, #better-health, #exercise, #fitness, #gym, #happy, #healthy, #positivity

Better health marker (day 16)

I had a jam-packed schedule yesterday and no opportunity to post. But other than telling you of my mostly non-eventful List of the day, not a lot to talk about here. Oh, and I was very tired.

Today I have not yet been to the gym, because I have to get bloodwork done this morning. It’s a fasting test, and I had little desire to go to the lab all sweaty and gross. Seems unsanitary.

But anymore, I am always excited about having blood drawn and receiving the results from my doctor. I am expecting no unpleasant surprises, but still – it is exciting to find out for sure that in the last few months I have not sinned so grandly as to have him contemplating a new round of sugar-controlling drugs.

The scale again seems to be stuck in one place, having traded the same 0.3 pounds back and forth this week. But at least it’s not increasing. Between stress, busy days, and veering off my eating strategy to accommodate the busy days, meals out with clients, and the overall stress, I am happy to go down 0.3 pounds one day and watch it come back up in 0.1 pound increments the next few days.

I also feel a bit stuck in my Lists of the day. I am doing them, I am mostly enjoying the moments. But they are not presently sparking joy for me. My mind is elsewhere much of the time, and while I know it happens, it sucks all the same. I like it when the gym is my universally happy place, where I can forget the rest of the stuff that populates my life and just focus on moving my body and feeling the muscles doing their best work. I am doing well enough; the rest of my stuff is not distracting me to the point of breaking my typical habits. Working out problems while moving from exercise to exercise is usually less prominent than it has been this week.

Yeah, this is tiny cupcakes in the measurement of problems and issues.

Big, huge, giant comfort is that the habit is now ingrained enough that I am almost on autopilot when mapping out my daily schedule and how it all fits together. While I have to go later today (because it’s a fasting blood test, I do not exercise on a completely empty stomach, and that whole sweaty and gross seems unsanitary thing noted above), it never once occurred to me to blow off the gym in favor of work. I just rearranged things so I was up and toiling at 4 a.m. while I keep an eye on the clock for time to prepare to head to the lab. Hopefully it’s not too busy. But even if it is, I am not scheduled for anything else until 11 a.m.

Not always crazy about the way my work-life balance progresses, but I am managing and it is working more than 70% of the time. The other 30% – nights and weekends – it’s an evolving process. Once I recognize that I am at capacity, I will force myself to sort it out better.

Until then, I will just careen along juggling all my stuff and try to get back to a regular sleeping schedule.

#august2017, #better-health, #diabetes, #diet, #exercise, #fitness, #gym, #health, #healthy-eating, #lab-tests

PT-62: Negative thinking and realism (day 14)

Monday morning, training with J. We are still on our review, refine, enhance strength-focused Lists, and despite the post title, it was an awesome adventure in learning and working at skill updates. Lots of room for improvement, but if I were good at everything already J would have a client slot to fill.

Key Takeaways

It occurred to me today that I have some (previously) unwritten rules about how I conduct my practices. For the most part, they seem to work. And since I find myself now more capable than before, they are obviously working reasonably well. Specifically: can’t remember how many reps, do at least 15; lost track of where I am in set counts, do another just to be sure; left leg seems weaker, do it first; when it doubt about weights, start lighter. Simple, common sense (to me) type stuff.

Lots of semi-negative thinking going through my head today, ala “I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot.” To be fair, though, some simple-looking exercises are complicated and technical (looking at you, hang-and-bang). It’s not so much I am an idiot so much as some things simply do not always make sense, and even if they do make sense intellectually, translating that sensibility into making body do mind’s bidding is another matter entirely.

I probably have more to say on this topic, but a dear friend arrived tonight and I had to cut this section short to finish and get this post published. 

What We Did

Plate Loaded Squat Machine (2 25s/side)
Overhead Press on plate loaded squat machine

1-legged Leg Press
Bench Elevated Pushup

Dumbbell Lateral Raises
Dumbbell Triceps Extension

Medicine Ball Vertical Chops
Stability Ball Passes

How It Felt

I have not attempted this List on my own since it was introduced, and in some ways it shows, dreadfully. However, I am mostly okay with the plate loaded squat machine. The shape seems to be coming pretty naturally, and once I figure out where to plant my feet, place my hands, and what the lever (releasing the shoulder weight part) does, thing went very well. There is still some confidence building with it, but for the most part, I feel like I am squatting with proper form and technique. The little refinements noted above, with the exception of the weight release latch, are things that will become more natural and more comfortable with practice. Right now, it all feels new and different about what my hands and feet might be doing and impacting the working muscles.

The overhead press on the plate loaded squat machine brought forth an attack of the shoulds. Because I have not practiced these, it felt a little (sometimes a lot) awkward and like we were reinventing the wheel or discovering fire. I get the concept and know how it’s supposed to work and to feel, yet I was struggling mightily with the overall shape of the exercise. It’s different than when doing this with dumbbells, because the arms go up and forward, slightly away from the top of the shoulder where the overhead press with the dumbbells tends to go straight up and over the shoulder. It is not difficult for me to understand, yet for various and sundry reasons it was difficult for me to implement and execute. I did improve. I did get the stance down more completely by the third set. But damn – it should not be as difficult as I was making it this morning.

Rather than walking lunges or Bulgarian split squats, we returned to the favorite leg press and did single 1-legged leg presses. I was pretty pleased with my effort on these, because at 140 lbs. I was doing 20 without much trauma or drama. I forgot that we are in the midst of a strength-focus series right now and just kept going until I reached the typical 20 reps. Then J asks me how that felt – it was fine. So we bumped it to 160 for the next set, went through another 20, after which I finally realized (when J remarked upon it) that I was going for an 8 to 12 rep range, not the usual 15 to 20 or 25 to 30. Oops! Bumping it to 180 toned my enthusiasm for the bigger range, and I went from 20 to 10. J then went to 200 and suggested I do 5, just to see how it went and how it felt. It went, but it did feel challenging and  heavy.

Bench push-ups FINALLY make more sense today. FINALLY. I now seem to have figured out where to place my hands, how wide apart to put them so the working, feeling muscles are actually in the chest and not everywhere else. My range is still mostly 8 to 10, but I have higher hopes to advance past that now that I figured out how to replicate the feeling in multiple sets.

My secondary “you’re an idiot” soundtrack started with the dumbbell lateral raises. I knew these have not been going well lately, but I have been at a loss as to what to do about it. Sometimes they are better, but generally speaking – I feel like super stinky poo whenever I have tried for a variety of reasons. The bobbing up and down. The arms and shoulders and weird-ass feelings in both – not quite pain, but definitely not productive muscle-conditioning work. Yet it is not always or consistently every time, just most of the time. So today J tackled addressing it directly. Or tried, anyway; we may have to revisit to ensure body and mind are in sync about what needs to happen. Lead with the elbows not with the weights in my hands. Stretch arms out with an elbow bend. Kind of like chicken wings flapping is how I finally interpreted it. All day long when I have a free moment I have been sitting or standing and working and leading with my elbows while raising my arms. I think it might be sinking in, without weights in my hands. Next I try these, I’ll go light weights to get the shape nailed down more fully.

My most accomplished with triceps exercises has got to be the lying down dumbbell triceps extensions. I have been stuck on 15 lbs. for months now, but feel no super urgent rush to bump it up right now. Possibly I could sometime soon, but not today.

New pairing starting with the medicine ball vertical chops. I remembered how to do these, and the biggest issue is ensuring I do not go too far with the ball overhead. Putting a package on the shelf is the way J described it, and it makes my stop point far clearer. I’m feeling it in my core.

And finally, the stability ball passes. We have lately been doing a fair amount of regular ab work, and other tribe members are doing things like floor crunches followed by reverse crunches. I realized today that is kinda/sorta what this exercise emulates, only with the a stability ball going back and forth between hands and feet.

Kitchen Sink Thoughts

After showering and getting ready for work, I was processing what we did today and how it feels in both body and mind. Part of me feels mind slip sliding back to negative girl territory in my self-assessment of my progress with this List to date. There was a faint “I’m an idiot” echoing in the back of my mind. In complete transparency, I have been gazelle-intense in examining my own motivation, focus, and drive of late anyway, so this was just more data layered into my analysis and equation.

Bottom line: I’m fine.

Rest of the story: I’m very occasionally terribly freaked out about my slo-mo forward progress to the point of breathing-into-paperbag panic over what it all means.

Reality check: It means nothing except a flashback crisis of confidence that will pass. Unfortunately the “very occasionally” description tends to happen in a condensed period of time, say 2 or 3 days in a month, 6-week period. It feels a lot more intense than it would spread out over the course of the entire period of measurement.

Like everyone who has a job and any sort of responsibilities, my life is not centered around the minutes and hours spent in the gym every morning. It is a definitely a big, giant, huge priority chunk of my daily and weekly routines, but it’s not the sole arbitrator of what I think, how I feel, who I am overall as a person. I’m not a person whose livelihood depends on how she looks in or out of clothes (let us all share a small prayer of thanks for that) or how much weight I can move to and fro. Regular person that I am means exercise and fitness is about my health, and while that does include my weight and body fat percentage, neither are a strong enough drivers at this moment in time to make me push hard, with focus and intensity throughout my List of the day. Not. Hardly.

I judge myself harshly, though, and while I do my level best to avoid compare and despair, I’m far from immune to it. But I also know giving myself too much of a free pass on this stuff leads to an easy laziness or lethargy about the work. I do have a strong desire to improve, advance (whatever that truly means to me), progress, be better. Going at 98.9% of maximum intensity (or even 68.9% if I am completely honest) is going to make some difference in my better health quest, but I am content enough at this moment to not feel the need to have to focus that kind of ooomph to make slow and steady results happen.

Maybe I am a “resistance train 2 to 3 times per week person” doing it over the course of 7 days most weeks. They why doesn’t matter much, because I presently cannot come up with a motivating factor, objective, or goal that makes me want to press onward with higher level of intensity most days of the week.

And I need to make myself get back to my happy place of acceptance. I am struggling with a lot of tiny fears and anxieties that are blocking me from getting there because I am allowing them to mushroom into nuclear bomb size clouds.

I am second guessing myself. In the present tense, I am struggling with how to write this, say it, in my usual stream-of-consciousness/unedited for anything style of blogging. My mindset and thinking are genuine examples of small-ball issues right now. In my effort to keep it real, I tell you everything, no matter how ridiculously silly and shallow it makes me sound.

In real life, what I describe here feels different, is very different, than that headspace I occupied for the better part of my start mid-2015 and well into 2016. However, progression forward for me is always part of a 2-step series where I might take 6 good steps forward and then slippy-slide backwards 3, 4, 5 again before hauling myself off my ass and back into proper training posture. I remind myself multiple times per day on a broad spectrum of topics that I am worthy and do work at earning the good stuff in my life. The cruel and unusual punishment I reserve to direct toward myself have toned down in their frequency if not their intensity. Admittedly that part is a ongoing work-in-progress that makes me squirm with discomfort to admit so openly.

I bring that up to frame this accurately in my own world view. Despite the vaguely uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach (aside from the focused core work that now appears on every List) about devolving into a dilettante about exercise and marching backward toward out-of-control blood sugar, I am doing fine. Food, the ongoing daily push-pull battle, is not the end of the world as I desire to know it. Making good food choices and eating healthier meals 75% of the time is better than 74.9% or less of the time, and it is a ginormous improvement from where I started or even a year ago. There is presently a chocolate cake in my kitchen that offers little temptation for me, and while I do imagine a very small scoop of ice cream this week, such things consumed in celebration are exempt from self-flagellation or over-thinking scrutiny (that’s another new rule). I am stronger than I was once and will again impose enough self-discipline to overcome the craving that single taste will trigger.

Self-doubt and negativity towards myself – this is a common thread throughout my life and times. Years of professional help have taught me a lot of tools to cope and battle back against it, but like diabetes or other chronic conditions, I do not believe it is curable. It’s treatable and it’s manageable, but there is no magical day in my future where the scars that shape me are erased and I am completely free. Acceptance of that means developing a more realistic and balanced frame of reference, where everything less than great is 100% my fault and everything else even 40% good is a stroke of good luck or the kindness of others toward me.

J made a curious, off-hand comment today in our post-session chat-fest. He corrected himself from using the “we” to “you” in an instance where discussing the work we were doing today. While technically more accurate – usually it is me doing the bulk of the sets and lying on the floor breathing hard and sweating through my shirt – I tend to think and use the “we” and “our” terms when describing this journey overall. Good coaching has made all the difference for me and for all the progress I have made – a lot of the credit should rest with J and his patience as well as skill.

And speaking of coaching, I get regular email updates from Pat Flynn (, another coach that is involved with my fat loss group. He has lately been writing a fair amount about motivation and mindset, and since he’s a pretty down-to-earth and sensible guy, I find much of what he writes and talks about very sensible indeed.

The last couple of emails have been about motivation, how many clients and people he works with talk about needing motivation before getting started with something and his solution is to get started anyway. Makes perfect sense to me now, and it got me wracking my brain if that was one of my excuses for not getting started sooner when the better health quest began. My guess: probably not. With exercise, my “I hate exercise” was the nuclear option (in my opinion) that pretty much covered it. When I hate something, no amount of pep talking pep talks is going to make me want to get up and get going.

Pat’s advice was the same thing M has told me for years and years: Do a little something every day. And when I made my choice to try to be in the gym twice more between sessions with J, that was my first thought: if I do a little something every day for a month, it will be a habit and I will be capable of moderation and coming in twice a week between training sessions. Seems like a simple choice, but it was a Very Big Deal for me at the time.

Am I motivated in the gym? Not always, but I do it anyway. Because I like the healthier, feeling better results. Such is my navel-gazing mindset right now: I am not really feeling the love for my pacing and level of effort, but I’m doing it anyway. Because it’s good for me, and while in slo-mo, I do like the better, healthier feelings that come from any effort expended.

Perhaps rather than turning negative girl loose in the wheelhouse to run amok and ruin my practices, I am being realistic, that I am not all happy-happy-joy-joy energizer bunny girl however many days I am in the gym per year. Maybe I am never energizer bunny level of energy any days I am in the gym each year. Level of effort and intensity could be unique to each of us, and my slo-mo is my best effort at being hyper-focused. I would never judge or be snarky toward another tribe member or anyone else, so I should be a little less judgey and snarky toward myself. I am present and trying my best, and as I continually remind myself, it is good enough.

And with these continual reminders, someday soon I will actually believe it 24/7. Until then, I will continue with my do a little something every day method of progression. In the 2-step dance, it’s working out for me.

#anxiety, #better-health, #confidence, #diet, #emotional-health, #exercise, #fear, #fitness, #gym, #happy, #health, #healthy-eating, #mental-health, #negativity, #peace, #positivity

Muscle tweak – paying the stupid tax (day 13)

I have had a very busy day today with work-related projects and household chores. While there was a tentative Sunday funday planned for the gym, time to get everything I wanted to get done completed was not on my side. I have actually felt as if I have been playing beat the clock all day and still much left to do before I sleep.

This blog entry is also on my to-do for today. Funny how what I anticipated writing about is pushed back yet again.

My biggest fear about regular exercise is injury. I fear the injury that sidelines me for a week or more, so I am very careful about following the cue script running in my head. Thus far, I have had a nice long run of nothing serious outside of the occasional gym tweak that happens to everyone.

I save my more serious boo-boos for at home. While wielding the vacuum cleaner.

M and I have a pretty loose division of domestic chores. He does the vast majority of the exterior clean-up and maintenance tasks and a lot of the day-to-day pick-up and maintenance. I much of the larger domestic chores – vacuuming, changing the linens, cleaning the bathrooms, mopping the floors. We split the laundry, and both tend to clean up the kitchen and common areas as we are using them. Cleaning the oven, stovetop, and microwave usually falls to me, because even though M tends to cook more, I become more annoyed by the mess that builds up with use.

Anyway, M was busy with other things today as well and once I concluded my out-of-the-house client project business, I got home and got with my chores. I was using the vacuum to clear some dusty corners and overhead sills when I somehow lost control and tweaked my shoulder. Lost my balance and fell backwards on my ass as well, but the only thing injured there was my pride. Thought I had escaped unscathed, but a couple of hours later and I have soreness in my right chest and shoulder muscle areas. Nothing serious, terminal, or that is likely to stop me from training tomorrow, but annoying nonetheless.

So I suppose I will continue to be careful in the gym, warm up appropriately and listen closely to the feedback from body about how it feels and any yellow or red signals it may be flashing toward me. At home, with a light-weight vacuum cleaner, I was caught off guard. I guess weightier weights are more trustworthy than basic household appliances. I know to be careful at the gym; at home, apparently, not so much.

#august2017, #exercise, #fitness, #injury, #productivitiy, #progress

New shooz! (day 11)

I have been on the hunt for treadmill desk shoes and have not been enjoying a lot of success. I have tried running shoes, but the toe box seems to do something to one or both of my big toe joints and caused enduring pain. I have used my gym cross training shoes – soles are kind of rigid and stiff for multiple hours of walking and standing. Keds? Chucks? Vans? Casual sneakers? Yep, unsuccessfully tried them all.

Then I read about Kuru on a budget software forum. The ladies there were raving about how comfortable they were for walking and such, so I hopped over to the site to check them out. After reading reviews and about their various offerings, I decided on these, in white, because I anticipated mostly wearing them inside on the treadmill desk.


8/11/2017 – KURU Carrera Mesh in white and gray mist. 

After having them for 4 days and wearing them steadily on the treadmill desk, none of my usual issues have arisen. Actually, I have had no issues at all, other than they are white and if I wear them outside the house they are going to be dirty in very short order. They are not terribly stylish and attractive, but their boat-like appearance and feeling is mostly in my head. Granted the soles do look heartier than my minimalist gym shoes that I love, but we are not in the land of Hoka as yet. M was very concerned about the ankle collar – it is quite high in the back – but that feature does not bother me at all.

At $125, these are not economy model footwear. However, I now recognize the depths of my addiction to the gym and to exercise. I will spend $125 for shoes I am wearing primarily in my house and on my treadmill desk because they are not uncomfortable on my feet and not causing pain or injury that may impair me in my exercise and fitness pursuits. I have never been a slave to fashion and mostly gave up the mainstream sexy heels years and years ago (to M’s infinite sorrow). Now I am even more protective of my feet and legs; I even limit my flip-flop wearing because too much causes joint pain in my ankles and feet.

Aging kinda/sorta sucks.

This is not a paid promotion for KURU shoes, either. I am thrilled to death to have found something that appears to work with my feet for all day treadmill walking while working. If they continue to feel good and comfortable in this application, I can see a second pair in my future. Unfortunately the black and the gray color schemes are a little wild for my tastes, but I can adapt. For kick-around shoes, I just want something that is less obvious about the dirt and muck in my travels than the bright white I’m presently sporting.

#august2017, #better-health, #exercise, #fitness, #gym, #happy, #health